KitKat29 asked:
My best friend announced recently she is getting married in September wants to go to Dublin for the weekend – its £200 for the flight hotel and god knows how much for spends and I just can’t afford it but don’t know how to tell her. I have had my hours cut in work as i work in the mortgage industry and my hubby has started a new job which requires him to be on less money for the first 12 mths – I don’t even know if ‘ll have a job soon and I’m worried sick about this as we have three small children to think about .I just can’t afford this expensive weekend – please help!! (incase anyone is wondering my hen night cost £50 all in for BB, three course meal, wine and a show!)
My best friend announced recently she is getting married in September wants to go to Dublin for the weekend – its £200 for the flight hotel and god knows how much for spends and I just can’t afford it but don’t know how to tell her. I have had my hours cut in work as i work in the mortgage industry and my hubby has started a new job which requires him to be on less money for the first 12 mths – I don’t even know if ‘ll have a job soon and I’m worried sick about this as we have three small children to think about .I just can’t afford this expensive weekend – please help!! (incase anyone is wondering my hen night cost £50 all in for BB, three course meal, wine and a show!)
March 8th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
you just need to tell her. she should understand that not everyone is in a financial position to do things, especially with you having 3 small kids and job issues! best wishes
March 11th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Be honest and explain. She’ll understand if she’s truly your friend. If she really wants you to go maybe she’ll help you pay?
March 14th, 2010 at 9:27 am
Well surely If she is really your best friend you can just go ahead and tell her??
March 15th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
you say i cant afford to go on your hen party lol
March 18th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Say I cant afford to go
March 20th, 2010 at 6:42 am
some suggestions:
1. call the day of the wedding and say u just got into a car accident.
2. death in the family.
3. its your mothers birthday.
4. meeting your long lost brother that day.
5. grandfather fought in WW2, thats being honored…
Of just tell her straight up. if she’s your best friend, she should be helping with the cost of flying people out anyways.
March 20th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
shes your best friend- just come right out and tell her. she will understand if she really cares about you.
March 21st, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Jus tell her that nyou dont have enough money….maybe she can help
March 24th, 2010 at 12:28 am
just tell her you can not afford it no need to express the issues and if it was more affordable and closer you might be able to attend and go out and take 50. and go out to lunch with her as your own little hen party
March 24th, 2010 at 2:49 am
Just be honest with her. If she is your best friend, she will understand. Then if she still wants to go to Dublin, she can pay for you. Or she can reschedule something so that you stay in your city. Or she will go to Dublin without you, and as her best friend, you can take her out to dinner or something just the 2 of oyu. I would be mad if my BF went without me and didn’t offer to pay knowing my financial hardships.
March 25th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
I think you can just tell her in a straightforward manner than you simply cannot afford to travel. When brides are choosing to do destination parties, they ought to realize that the guest list will be cut down because not everyone can afford it.
Perhaps you can send a bit of money if you feel bad and tell them to have a round on you.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much, if she’s your best friend, she ought to understand!
March 27th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Just be honest and tell her. I’m sure she’ll understand.
March 28th, 2010 at 10:22 am
I’m having a out of town wedding and if my best friend cannot afford to go I’ll pay for her.
Part of the reason why people do destination weddings is because they don’t want who will show up to any intown wedding to show to theirs (i.e my mother’s friends and my nosy cousin)
tell her and if she plans on blowing tons of money she’ll help you out.
March 29th, 2010 at 11:35 pm
If i were u i would just tell her and if she is ur best friend you have probably told her about ur financial situation. If not explain it to her. If she doesn’t understand she is very selfish and is not really your friend anyway because if u were my best-friend and i knew u couldn’t go because of money i would pay for u to go, if i had the money.
March 30th, 2010 at 2:11 am
I feel really sorry for you. I know exactly what you mean and I think its very unfair for women to decide to do their parties in other locations. That is very inconsiderate.
That being said, I would just tell her exactly what you said here and then offer to take her to a nice dinner just the two of you before or after her party.
March 31st, 2010 at 7:34 pm
No need to be afraid to tell her, she is your best friend after all so she’ll understand. She might even fork it out for you if she loves you that much.
April 1st, 2010 at 6:23 am
umm…tell her that you cannot afford to go.
April 3rd, 2010 at 9:58 pm
This is exactly why destination parties and weddings are bad ideas. We are in Texas and were invited to a wedding in Hawaii. We would have loved to go but simply couldn’t afford that plane ticket and the expensive hotel room….. plus missing work. I called the bride and just told her the truth. I know she was disappointed and so was I… we have been friends since grade school.
After they returned from Hawaii, I called and took her out to dinner so I could hear all about it. As it turned out, about 1/2 of her guest list did not go for the very same reason I didn’t.
Just tell your friend exactly what you have said here. It’s a very understanable reason not to be able to go.
April 5th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
You respond to the invitation either formally
Ms. Maggie Simpson regrets
that she is unable to accept
the kind invitation for Saturday 01 April.
or informally
Dear Evie,
Thanks so much for inviting me to your hen night. I wish I could attend, but an unfortunately able to do so. Have a great time!
Your friend, Maggie
If invitations are by phone, word-of-mouth, eMail, etc, then you respond in the same way and same level of formality as the invitation.
There is no need to explain your reason for declining an invitation. You can simply repeat It’s just impossible and If things change, I’ll let you know as often as necessary.
April 6th, 2010 at 11:41 pm
just tell her, she should understand, especially since you have kids! it’s nothing for her to take personally, it’s your own problem and you simply can’t afford it.
April 10th, 2010 at 12:11 am
If this woman is really your best friend, she should understand that such an extravagant hen party is just something you can’t afford right now. Tell her, and maybe offer to spend time 1-1 together some other date before the wedding, and spend the day together, have lunch and get your nails done. It is completely reasonable for you to say you can’t go.
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